ahhhh.

i'm convinced that i can't win. I just can't. I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months this weekend while on a getaway in maine for the long weekend off from school. I'm just too busy. We don't talk hardly ever and we don't see each other like, ever. When we do talk, we fight because he can't give me his trust even though i've never done anything to warrant him not trusting me. He's a bit insecure and now even more so but he'll get over it and find someone new. He thinks he's going to be alone forever because we broke up but i guess he needs to go through the feeling sorry for himself stage. Then my dad took away my favorite birthday present by telling me that he is now NOT divorcing my step mother. She's got some screws loose and is jealous of my me and my brother and thinks that if my dad doesn't give her 100% of his attention, he doesn't love her. She's nuts. He says she's going to change and that if she doesn't then it won't work and they will get divorced, but that's what he said last time. next time, i hope he doesn't tell me that they are going to get divorced until they have signed the papers and it's through. So that pretty much sucks. I will never forgive her and I will never like her, but that's besides the point. Apparently he does. It's like a murderer pleading insanity and getting away with the crime. She treats him and everyone that he loves like shit and then he forgives her because he says that she has a screw loose. Great. I'd want to be married to someone with a screw loose, wouldn't you? ahhhh. whatever. i'm done. i'm done caring. It was his birthday on sunday and i bought a bunch of balloons and blew them up and hung them around the house and i made dinner and a really amazing cake and did all this stuff for him to show him that i love him and all, and hopefully he won't do what he did last time which is push us away to make her happy... My ex boyfriend is going back to school which is really good for him. He wasn't doing so well for a while so i'm really happy for him that he is going to go to college and get himself on the right track. We've been good friends since we broke up last year, we went out for 2 years and 7 months, so you can't really break that kind of a bond. Sometimes i miss him but especially now that i'll be here at the academy, and he will be at school in upstate new york, friends is really the only option. I'll always love him though. I broke up with him, because of multiple reasons but mainly because i was coming here and i knew that it wouldn't work... It's good that we're still such good friends though. I don't think that i could have him not be my friend. He's a great person to talk to. Hopefully stephen and i will be that way at some point. Able to talk to each other again that is. I think he needs a new girlfriend though because he will treat someone like a princess, i just didn't like the way he did that for me. He will make some gal really happy one day. And hey, if it's meant to be it will be. For now, I will wait in confusion for the person that i'm hoping will come through one day. and until then, I'll enjoy the single life of flirtation and fun.